Vloggin’ it up!

I realized the only way I am going to be able to commit to blogging everyday is if I can mix it up with some video. I am excited about unleashing my weirdness and sharing it with my family and friends.

My new channel, therealdcap, is going to be an experiment in self-expression and community-building. And as I noted in my bio, it’s also just an excuse for me to bug out. For the last seven years I’ve been creating media as my profession, which has been very rewarding. But I’ve always enjoyed the online/video folk art of others, and I am ready to start doing my own experimenting again. I’m inspiring by video artists like Laurel Nakadate, vloggers like my IRL friend FilmFuturist, and crazy awesome parents like the SHAYTARDS.

The video below from 2009 is probably proof of why my videos should remain private. But you’re here! I’ve got you now! Bwahahaha.

I love to dance in my bedroom and pretend my spoon is a microphone. Why I keep a spoon in my room is fodder for a future blog post, perhaps.

I’ve been creating personal videos and putting them online since 1999, but rarely shared anything I made. The fact that no one was really watching video online at the time might have had something to do with it. Back then, I didn’t know about these guys, which is probably a good thing. I am pretty sure I would have joined their collective and turned into some sort of “Lawnmower Man“-esque crazy robot lady.

I’m kicking off this daily creative experiment with a look back at what used to make me smile, and will be posting new videos next week. Instead of tossing videos randomly all over the Internet, like the one below on Flickr, I’m going to start being organized with my weirdness and keeping it all in one place on therealdcap. We’ll see how that goes.

Enjoy your weekend! I’m not posting again until Monday — weekends shouldn’t count in this daily posting pact, I mean, come on.

Snaps: @dcap’s Summer 2011 + personal and professional growth thoughts

I had intended to only post photos today, but felt compelled to share a few thoughts at the end. Looking at these photos makes me want to take out my 7D and shoot more this weekend.

In some ways, I’ve allowed my iPhone to make me lazy about my photography 😛 But it still brings me a lot of joy to take pics in any form…

Street scenes…

New role at my job…

Fun with friends…

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Snaps: Follow The Light [Red Candle Meditations]

I’ve reached a point in my life where I am choosing to full embrace this saying:

“Things are not always as they seem; the first appearance deceives many.” – Phaedrus, a Roman poet

When I first moved to New York from California in 2004, some unwanted baggage managed to come along with me; my many fears, self-loathing, and a sense of disconnect from the world. Luckily, my personality compels me to attack my fears head-on even if I am feeling hopeless, so I was able to put myself out there and network, find work, and eventually feel comfortable with calling NYC my home.

But I’ve since realized that, in the process of overcoming so much culture shock and repressed fear, an unhealthy part of me continued to approach everything like a situated that needed to be attacked.

That attitude narrowed my world view. To everyone around me, I did my best to present this “Self” who had everything together and was relentlessly ambitious. But inside, I was always secretly on guard, waiting for something terrible to happen. I didn’t really trust myself and – by extension – anyone else. I always saw the worst in people and in myself. It was exhausting and I’m surprised I’ve achieved as much as I did with that lens tainting everything & everyone around me, including my own family and significant others.

Now, as I mentally kick-off the countdown to my 30th birthday in September, I’m happy to realize that I am finally able to look at a person or a situation and see beyond the surface. The things that once triggered fear or anger rarely do so anymore. And when they do, I can step back and not give those negative feelings the fuel they require to eat me alive. I put my attention elsewhere, and the feelings subside.

My fears don’t rule me anymore, I see them for what they are: just ghosts from the past. I can tell myself, “This is nothing worth stressing out all day over. I will not let these old thoughts and feelings drag me down.” Everyday it gets easier to do this.
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