Many UX, UI and database experts are probably going to propose a lot of bells and whistles and that’s fine — all of that is necessary. But what I’m primarily concerned about is better access to information, ASAP.

Some might argue that what I am proposing below is reactive and not taking the full redesign into consideration. True dat, I’m being reactive. My point is that — understanding how slow government usually moves — these are some relatively small but significant changes that would cost very little to make by January 1, 2012, with a high ROI.

NYC.gov needs an overhaul and that will take time.

That’s OK. In the interim, here are four small changes to the NYC.gov homepage that DOITT could implement by end of December that would improve the lives of millions.

1. Improve Community Board access on homepage and sitemap

Every NYC resident should have the contact info and calendar for their community board. This is a crucial step in a more informed, empowered population. As the Mayor’s Community Affairs Office put it, “Being a New Yorker means playing an active role in shaping your local communities, and one way to do this is to get involved with your local community board.”

Great! So why aren’t more people involved with their community board? Probably because many can’t find it. True, there is already a community board landing page but it’s not easy to find at all. This is the direct link to that page: http://www.nyc.gov/html/cau/html/cb/cb.shtml

However, if you try to search NYC.gov for “community board” you get over 2,000 irrelevant results. “Community Board” (if the person even knew what that was or how it worked) is what the average user would search for. However, if you search for “FIND YOUR community board” the CAU landing page does appear in the first page of results. But more than likely no one is searching for “find YOUR community board.”

If you search Google for “nyc find my community board,” the CAU landing page DOES appear. Great! NYC.gov should follow suit and — in addition to adding Community Board to the sitemap — change the metadata for the community board landing page to include “find my community board” as a self-directed search term.

I will give the sitemap structure credit in that it does have a “Community Groups” category and if you click on that there are some community board-related links, but that doesn’t currently include the “Find Your Community Board” landing page.

In addition to an update to the sitemap, quick access to Community Board information should be one click away on the NYC.gov homepage. In the right rail of the homepage there are several modules with useful info. Why not reduce the amount of “DID YOU KNOW” items and add another module (above the fold) that is a standing promo/search tool for Community Board information, allowing you to find info by zip code? You could put it between “Notify NYC” and “NYC Service.”

If DOITT wanted to take it one step further, they could add a tab on the Mayor’s Community Affairs Unit Facebook page that included all the community board contact info for NYC. The CAU Facebook page is what is being promoted on the “Find Your Community Board” landing page, so it would be helpful if following the CAU Facebook page gave you additional info about Community Boards.

2. Clean up NYC.gov metadata and source code content

This is tied to my first suggestion re: improving search results as well as setting a tone/standard. NYC.gov needs better metadata in general, including multiple descriptions and keywords. DOITT will know what I’m talking about but for the rest of you, here’s an exercise. Try looking up NYC.gov’s source code. Just go to your nav bar on your Chrome browser and look under view>developer>view source or the equivalent for your preferred browser. You’re going to see a lot of weirdness in NYC.gov’s source code, such as old workarounds for Netscape. I think it’s time to clean house. Your source code is like your bathroom cabinet. You want to keep that tidy for guests.

Here’s an example:

MTV News’ metadata:

MTV News’ metadata includes a great description, relevant keywords and the RSS feed. You might be thinking, “well, that’s an entertainment site. This isn’t relevant.” Uh, yes it is. But in case you need more evidence, here’s CA.gov’s metadata:

Again, CA.gov includes a description and relevant keywords. Now, look at NYC.gov’s metadata:

No description or keywords to be found. If you look further down, there is more detail about a Netscape bug fix found in the WebMonkey code library than about NYC.gov itself.

The importance of cleaning up government website source code aside, updated NYC.gov metadata is an easy and necessary fix. Why? Meta elements such as descriptions and tags are like breadcrumbs for search engines and play a role in search engine optimization (SEO). Although meta elements aren’t as important as they used to be, they still give you more control over the details that search engines scrape for your search results. Bottom line, NYC.gov needs updated metadata and DOITT should be looking at/cleaning up the source code as part of the bigger picture to determine how valuable it is to rely on old scripts and workarounds moving forward.

3. Make voter registration/voting info easier to find

My “The X-Files” fueled mind often wonders if all government websites intentionally make voting information difficult to find. Hahah! Crazy, right? Anyway, NYC.gov is no exception. Currently, if you search the NYC.gov homepage, there are ZERO text links for “voting,” “voter,” or “vote.” No bueno, El Bloombito! Democracy without voting is like chips without salsa!

All joking aside, making voting info easier to find on the NYC.gov homepage by January 1, 2012, would be a minor, low-cost and incredibly helpful change.

Under the “Information & Services” module in the left rail, DOITT could add a text link called “Voting Resources” to the Board of Elections landing page: http://www.vote.nyc.ny.us/. The Board of Elections should also have an official Facebook page by January 1, 2012, which should be added to the NYC.gov social media landing page.

4. Make rich media content easier to view by increasing homepage width

The current NYC.gov homepage uses about 50% of the average monitor width. As a result, content is bunched over to the left in all browsers and only a small portion of the content is visible above the fold. You have to scroll down quite a bit to view all the other content. There is no need for this that I can determine, aside from considering viewing through a mobile browser.

Before I go off on mobile options (I get into that further in this post), let me stick to my point: By doubling the homepage layout width and implementing a few minor design changes, visitors could access a ton of information at a much faster rate before the end of the 2011.

UI/UX changes require a lot of effort and planning, true dat. But widening the homepage wouldn’t require new features. It would simply require a few minor but significant design enhancements such as larger fonts, re-organizing the nav bar and enlarging the icons and changing the default promo layout from one major update with an image to two updates, side by side in the center rail, with the other updates running below them. This would give the site the illusion that it is frequently updated and provide more incentive to click through to additional content.

Most web developers using the coding languages that NYC.gov utilizes make their sites between 980 and 990 pixels wide. Even if DOITT just centered the homepage and placed rotating city images in the gutters (that would be pretty), that would look better and be easier to navigate than having everything bunched to the left in a width of approximately 700-800 pixels.

Additionally, the “STAY CONNECTED” module should also be placed above the fold, as well as a social plugin so visitors can “Like” the NYC.gov homepage tied to an NYC.gov Facebook page (so that when visitors leave after “liking”, NYC.gov follows them to their news feed).

Big changes for 2012

Now that I’ve shared four minor but significant fixes that could be implemented by January 1, 2012, here are my four long-term improvements that I recommend DOITT addresses by the end of 2012:

1. CMS upgrade
Judging from source code details such as what drives the NYC RIGHT NOW paginated promo module (a dhtml script taken from www.dynamicdrive.com — you can manually configure the variables to change the style of the scroller and the content in it), NYC.gov needs a more robust and integrated content management system that includes scheduling tools.

Additionally, content IDs and other CMS data org features allow you to hide privileged info while making it easier to update the site with fewer mistakes. This is tied to site infrastructure so this isn’t a “fix” that could realistically happen by January 1, 2012, but I hope DOITT considers minimizing how much content is hand coded/updated on the site throughout the day by implementing and customizing an off-the-shelf or proprietary CMS.

If DOITT ever plans to implement more interactive content (see my suggestions below), they will need a CMS infrastructure that supports those features. From what I can tell so far, the existing CMS does not support anything beyond standard JavaScript and CSS tweaks — hacks that you don’t want site producers accidentally breaking.

2. Make content immersive and all-screens friendly using HTML5
DOITT will know what I’m talking about, but for others, it’s crucial for all web portals to be relevant on all screens. This means that if you are looking at a homepage on a phone, or an iPad, or your desktop computer, the content should scale to that device so you can easily find what you’re looking for. That is the bare minimum benefit of using HTML5 — making websites that easily recognize how they are being viewed and adjust accordingly.

Beyond that, NYC.gov should use HTML5 to create more immersive web content that creates tactile experiences, empowering the user to navigate and manipulate data through their touch screen devices. DOITT could take a page from The Boston Globe and identify relevant content such as from NYC Open Data to visually share information through touchscreen interfaces for infographics, timelines, polling/survey mechanisms and more.

NYC Digital is on a mission to attract more tech investors and startups to NYC. These are terrific goals that will insure that NYC remains a place that millions flock to for work, education and inspiration.

However, NYC.gov isn’t just a website that helps to promote these goals (as I’ve noted are the most common updates to the homepage — Bloomberg announcing various tech/industry partnerships). NYC.gov is a UTILITY that needs to be USEFUL for the people who live and pay taxes. DOITT needs to make it easier for citizens to find what they are looking for on the website, no matter where they are and through all devices.

3. Enable frictionless sharing of NYC.gov content
Here’s a scenario: Let’s say I’ve already opted into NYC.gov frictionless sharing. I’m reading a press release on NYC.gov and that activity shoots to my Facebook news feed. Zoom! Pow! I’ve magically become a PR rep for NYC.gov. I’m instantly an ambassador for government knowledge. All my friends can see that I’m on the site and at least a few of them may click on the link.

As of right now, NYC.gov doesn’t allow frictionless sharing on their press releases, let alone other valuable content. There is an almost translucent “share” button with the usual list of social plugins and if you click the Facebook option it sends you to yet another screen alerting you to the fact that you are now leaving NYC.gov. Duh, I know that!

Can we lose that “you are now leaving” notification, please? I don’t believe it’s a requirement on government websites when you link off-site to an official social media channel. I’ve checked several government websites and this isn’t standard practice.

Also, the suite of sharing plugins should be (and can be added easily at no additional cost) on each piece of content. What if I just want to “Like” something immediately or tweet it — not recommend or share with a comment? What if I don’t even want to bother with sharing the link but am OK with my activity appearing in my newsfeed? What if I want to G+ it up? Right now, I can’t.

With the heavy social media push happening in NYC government (which I’m ecstatic about, btw) and security factors aside, frictionless sharing on NYC.gov seems like a logical step.

4. Opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one…

…And some stink more than others! With that in mind, moderated chatter on a government website is not something to fear. It should be embraced, and in the middle of that love fest should be real-time interactive tools like Cover It Live and Livefyre so that visiting NYC.gov doesn’t have to be a solitary experience (when you don’t want it to be)! Imagine this: Democracy in action, within the comments on NYC.gov. If you build it, they will come — all the freaks, conspiracy theorists and nutballs — plus folks who are passionate about improving the world, like me. It’s a mixed bag and a moderation policy and support team would be necessary, but it would be worth it.

Bare minimum, NYC.gov should implement Disqus to manage (and provide the option of) commenting on all press releases and news articles. Whether you agree with the noise or not, being able to share a salient comment broadens exposure to the topic and offers the opportunity to respond.

Thanks for taking the time to read my suggestions, DOITT and Rachel Sterne! I wrote this in a cheeky manner so it was less boring to read. I am in no way belittling your ongoing efforts and all the time and planning already in progress. Thanks for everything you do to make government more accessible to citizens, because without the people involved it’s not a real government at all.

Let me know what you think by leaving a comment and I’ll respond.

If you couldn’t tell so far, I have a touchy relationship with the concept of perseverance, even though it has pulled me through some tough times. My issue is the implication that it’s something you do alone, as if you got an extra merit badge for struggling through something in isolation.

My BFF Rose Hernandez is part of my perseverance network

“On the mountains of truth you can never climb in vain: either you will reach a point higher up today, or you will be training your powers so that you will be able to climb higher tomorrow.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

“Slaying the dragon of delay is no sport for the short-winded.” – Sandra Day O’Connor

“The miracle, or the power, that elevates the few is to be found in their industry, application, and perseverance under the promptings of a brave, determined spirit.” – Mark Twain

What do the quotes you just read have in common? All of them are awesome but none of them talk about the importance of having supportive people in your life as a key to successful perseverance. I call bullshit on that.

For me, perseverance is something you do best with the support of a network and building a “perseverance network” into your life is much easier than you think.

Science has proven that “chronic over-secretion of stress hormones adversely affects brain function, especially memory. Too much cortisol can prevent the brain from laying down a new memory, or from accessing already existing memories.” What this means is that when you’re stressed — the time when you really need to persevere — it can actually be pretty frackin’ hard to succeed at persevering. If you’re having trouble recalling a time when you persevered for inspiration or comfort, or if you’re struggling with processing your own thoughts, persevering can seem like the most unattainable thing in the word. Enter your network to tag team into your stream of churning thoughts and help you make some sense of it.

Who is this network? In my case, it’s a combination of IRL and online friends. If I’m struggling with a problem (and depending on the urgency to solve it), I’ll focus my energy on making a list of five people to approach who can share some insight into the situation. It’s far easier and more productive to think of five friends, peers or acquaintances who can help me than to agonize over the same string of thoughts with no end result in sight.

Try it some time: when you are under the gun and feeling stressed out about a problem and you MUST persevere, take ten minutes to make a list of the five people in your life you’ll approach to discuss the situation. Don’t worry about if they’ll respond or not — focus your energy on determining five people. Sometimes the one who is able to help you pull through is the last person you thought would be the one to assist you.

Perseverance assistance comes in many forms. It can be a quick phone call, gchat or private Twitter DM. It can be coffee with a friend, a call to your mother or a thread in a forum you initiate.

Don’t think for one second that you have to persevere on your own. Don’t let excuses such as “it’s confidential information so I can’t talk to anyone about it” keep you from asking general questions that can illicit feedback from your peers. And in the random instance that you have absolutely no one to turn to who you know IRL, don’t let that stop you from reaching out to people you admire online. You never know what could happen.

Perseverance is an act best completed through interdependence. Try it.

If you’ve used online resources to help yourself persevere through a tough situation, please share them in the comments.

Open Data is essentially an evolving public database of data sets provided by New York City agencies and other City organizations which are available for public use. That may sound incredibly boring but it’s actually extremely exciting and sexy (if you think open government is sexy — which it is). Participants in NYC’s BigApps challenge can harness these data sets to create apps that improve government accessibility, transparency and accountability.

One of last year’s winners was Big Apple Ed, an online guide to New York City schools. The site makes use of data provided by The City of New York and the New York State and New York City Departments of Education.

Why You Don’t Care (Yet)

If you’re not a techie (or a parent), you are probably wondering where the sexy part of this blog post is. I promise, it’s coming. Keep in mind that data can be used in a myriad of ways. If you’re an artist, student, teacher, non-profit organization, marketer, media strategist or small business owner, Open Data is a tool for your arsenal too — you just don’t know it yet.

During her recent Strata Conference talk shared by O’Reilly Media, NYC Digital Officer Rachel Sterne discussed how open government could transform New York. Sterne also noted that all of their work opening the data “doesn’t matter if we’re not evangelizing it and making sure people are using it.”

In the spirit of evangelizing shared public resources, I’m sharing my opinion that the reason you don’t know about the awesome potential of the Open Data site is that it was designed for developers, not the average person. This makes sense — NYC government wants to partner with techie people to use their data to improve civic engagement and transparency. That’s awesome. What’s not awesome is that in this iteration of the site they didn’t empower everyday people to use the data or make the data very people-friendly, which means the only people evangelizing this resource right now are government officials, developers and data practitioners — but it doesn’t have to be this way.

Steven Romalewski, who directs the CUNY Mapping Service at the Graduate Center of the City University of New York (CUNY), wrote an insightful review of Open Data’s features after it launched . In addition to comparing it to its previous iteration as NYC Data Mine, Romalewski points out that for the average user — someone at a Community Board, or a local media outlet, or a City Council member’s office — the city’s implementation of NYC Open Data seems against them. He argues that the real issue here is that the city’s open data efforts are being driven more by the desire to use data access as a way to leverage economic development, and less about true government transparency.

I have to play devil’s advocate here and say that although I agree that the city is using data primarily to leverage economic development, I don’t think the intention is growth at the expense of government transparency. I think it’s just a matter of not seeing the potential of economic growth and innovation through partnering with more than than just developers and infrastructure-focused partner companies.

How To Make You Care

But first, the most important ways that NYC Open Data can be more people-friendly overall: improving engagement by connecting with people in familiar ways that demystify the data.

1) Create Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr and YouTube channels that highlight data sets, how people are using the data and share resources

It’s unrealistic to expect non-developers to visit the site and understand what it means at first glance. Social channels and the content shared through those mediums will make the data more relatable to everyday people, particularly if what is being shared includes case studies, data visualizations, employment opportunities, contests and human-interest stories.

2) Create and maintain an official blog that offer case studies, best practices, user guides, human-interest stories and solicits feedback on initiatives

The content from this blog can be seeded on the social channels and serve as an incubator for ongoing discussions on different data set use cases.

3) Implement an email subscription/SMS+text alert system that allows you to sign up based on different interests (specific data categories, overall updates, events, etc.)

Only developers will be checking the site on a regular basis. Let people subscribe to what they want and empower them to receive the information in all the ways that work for them.

4) Implement community features

NYC Open Data is a wealth of information for different communities but it’s completely lacking a community component of its own. At the very least, DOITT should add a message board for developers to share ideas and resources and a leader board highlighting the most-accessed data sets. DOITT should also foster community participation by organizing NYC Open Data Meetups and empower community members to lead discussions on different topics.

Now, let’s break down some ways that people who aren’t developers or data scientists COULD use NYC Open Data and site improvements that would make these resources more accessible.

Artists and Arts Organizations

POTENTIAL DATA USE

1. Multimedia data-driven installations: For decades artists have explored repetition and data manipulation in their work. Why not create a resource hub on NYC Open Data for artists and art institution that highlights relevant data sets, ongoing projects, and collaborates on exhibitions that utilize NYC public data?

An interesting example would be if the Brooklyn Museum (my favorite art haunt) partnered with the city and local artists to curate an exhibition focusing on 311 data. Visualizations representing the different kinds of calls, complaints and real-time information would be an interesting exploration of community and civic engagement.

2. Grants and scholarships: Philanthropical organizations (if empowered to do so) could use these data sets to determine new funding opportunities based on need, location and intersecting factors. However, they aren’t going to do this if they don’t know how to find the data, what it means, or how to manipulate it to get the information they want.

HOW TO MAKE THE DATA ACCESSIBLE

1. NYC Open Data should create a hub on the site focused on providing resources for artists and arts organizations. This hub could highlight how artists and organizations are using the data, providing recommendations on how it could be used and offer challenges for artists to use public data to enhance city-wide initiatives.

2. NYC Open Data should create an arts-specific Facebook page (“NYC Open Data for Artists”) that spotlights ongoing projects, opportunities and relevant data sets.

Non-Profits and Grassroots Organizations

POTENTIAL DATA USE

1. Grant writing/applications: It would be very beneficial for non-profits to be able to see data from funding opportunities. They could use the data to determine which grants to focus on, the implications of city budget allotments (how money is being spent) and more.

2. Focused campaigns: Grassroots movements like Occupy could use data set information to empower their decisions and to share information and directives with affiliated groups across the nation.

HOW TO MAKE THE DATA ACCESSIBLE

1. NYC Open Data should create a hub on the site for non-profits and civic engagement (activism). This hub could highlight how non-profits are using the data, providing recommendations on how it could be used and offer opportunities for non-profits to use public data to enhance city-wide initiatives.

This sounds like a repeat of my first suggestion for artists and essentially it is — only tailored to non-profits. And just as I stated for artist resources, NYC Open Data should create a non-profit specific Facebook page (“NYC Open Data for Non-Profits”) that spotlights ongoing projects, opportunities and relevant data sets.

2. Specific to Occupy, it would be very beneficial for volunteers to be trained on how to read data to inform their decisions. Leaders could use NYC Open Data as a teaching tool by pulling data to reveal information about arrests, previous protest-related damage and lawsuits, etc.

The examples I listed above are only the tip of the iceberg. Public access to city data and empowering organizations, journalists and everyday people to use the data could kick off a new renaissance of innovation for NYC that could be modeled in other cities. We won’t know until we give people the tools to manifest their dreams.

Brass Tacks: What It Will Take To Make This Happen

NYC Open Data would be much more accessible (make more sense to regular people) and utilized if it took the 21+ data set categories they have already defined (Environmental, Women’s Issues, Media, etc.) on the site and turned them into individual hubs with relevant and consistently updated resources, making sure to include social platforms for evangelizing and community-building.

In order to achieve this goal, the city would need to hire a Supervising Producer to oversee the hiring and management of digital producers with a journalism and activism background for each topic-focused hub. Each digital producer for each hub within the site would work with different city agencies and with data experts and data viz talents to make their hub an accessible resource.

This step would be aligned with NYC’s Digital Roadmap goals and transform NYC Open Data from a helpful but obscure developer resource into a platform for true civic engagement and community around many different issues.

Enjoy his brain leak below.

5 Blogging Tips From Someone Who Knows Jack Shit About Blogging

By Nick Capistrano

I used to wipe his tushy

In case you have some sort of strain of eye-gonorrhea and your slimy tear duct discharge prevents you from reading the first 11 words of anything that isn’t written in spider monkey, I don’t know shit about blogging. However, if there is one brand of shit-related topic that I am most educated in, it’s making said shit up. Why, just the other day I ate a ninja and found a leprechaun inside a unicorn’s vagina. Except, I didn’t; I just made that up like two seconds ago. Hah hah! Take that, your mind. Therefore, in the spirit of using my award-winning imagination to make things more awesome than they actually are, here is a list of things I think of when I think of the word “blog.” Also, the word “blog” sounds like what Klingons might roar at their partner during sex. I win again, your mind!

5. Always include links to people more interesting than you.
We live in a world where all content is inexplicably shared in an incestuous relationship so convoluted and gross that even the Hapsburgs (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hapsburgs) would describe it as “florb, glibbloop.” After their governess lovingly wiped the drool off their baffling non-chins and sent them away to identify simple shapes in silence, she would translate that jabbering as “fucked up” then shriek in awe of your magnificent time machine and happily flee the castle screaming something about witches.

The point I’m trying to make here is that all sites are ranked by traffic through some set of eldritch laws that you could only understand if you were at least half-cyborg. Therefore, the sure-fire way to let the traffic (and advertizing revenue by proxy) flow for your extremely compelling blog about your twelve cats is to ejaculate as many links to other totally not as fascinating online publications as fast as your sausage-like fingers can flail.

4. #don’t #forget #to #use #hashtags #in #every #fucking #sentence (#).
If the lawless, sexless wasteland known as Twitter is any indication, hash tags are more valuable than your genitals. In fact, if you cut them off and branded a pound sign over the now smooth and flawless pubic mound, every hipster within fifty yards will start humping wildly in your direction. And then claim to have loved you even before you replaced your babymaking parts with a symbol, of course. Even typing something with a #tic-tac-toe-mark in it will do the tri—-oh God…crotches! Everywhere, #crotches!

No…I…

#NO! Why can’t #I stop!? SOMEBODY #HEEEEELP #MEEEEEEEEE!

3. You will NOT be silenced!
The Man is everywhere, and just like Rapin’ Joe from your completely-not-indecent-exposure-related stint in county, he’s always trying to keep you down. Every other news organization (that, if you remember from tip number five, you have to link to fifteen times per post) is part of the same Cyborg Illuminati, which is why you will always word everything as if you are a Messiah sent to free us unwashed, slavering masses from the chains of our corporate imposed mind chattel. Make sure to add a sneering hash tag at the end of your post, like #genius or #spreadtheword, thereby stroking the long cock of your ego with the no-doubt tens of views this extremely insightful metadata will garner you.

2. If you are a photoblog, Sepia-toned photographs will cure cancer, and you will win a free set of anal beads for every ten of them you post.
A photoblog is an image-dump website that someone decided to sometimes add descriptions to. Now I’m no psychic, but my psychic powers have informed me that such a historic event went down like this:

“Glorioussssss victory!” the webmaster hissed with glee as he slowly, sensuously shed the mansuit off of his chitinous frame. “The images of my cat shall infect the In-Ter-Net with feline happinessssssss! My broodmates will rejoicccccccccce!” Suddenly, sexily, before he could even start cleaning his chelicerae, an idea formed in the twin brains located in his antennae!

“But wwwwait!” he gurgled, a quart of human blood dripping from his fangs. “If I add wordsssssss to this cornucopiaaaaa of kittens, then my race shall emerrrrrrge from The Underneath and rightfully claim thisssss planet for our own! Glory to the T’thnerk! Glorrrry to The Hive!”

1. The T’thnerk have taken over but you will still not be silenced (#freeeeeedom)!
I don’t know if you were paying attention, but the world has actually been taken over by a race of insectoid superbeings. They could be anyone: your boss, your co-worker, that homeless guy down the street, or even more terrifyingly, your cat(s).

Obsessive attention to detail is crucial when rooting out these soulless invaders. For example, when your boss gives you something to fax, just how loudly did he hiss it? When he looks at you, does it seem like he can hear your blood through your skin? How big was that steaming clutch of eggs he left in the office toilet? When you peeled his mask off, did it reveal a nightmare of mouths and venom, or was it just a hilarious and screaming misunderstanding? Do not leave out a single detail! KILL YOUR BOSS. #resist #unite #cats

1) Perception of a situation is subjective. Two people can look at the same thing and see it in two entirely different ways.

2) Sometimes love, without multiple harmonious and aligned factors, just isn’t enough.

2) Karma is a bitch.

Perception

In my lifetime so far, I’ve gone through similar situations repeatedly. I do something, another person interprets it in an incorrect manner and reacts. Someone does something, I interpret it in an incorrect manner and react. It all boils down to communication (effective or ineffective) and the decisions you make after you perceive what you perceive.

We have to live with all those decisions based on perception. So these days, I do my best to 1) breathe, 2) think first and 3) react later. Because my first impulse isn’t always the most healthy or productive when I’m coming from an emotional state. I don’t always succeed at this, but I make a conscious effort to not be ruled by emotions. And with each passing day, I get better at accepting and moving past the way others react towards me (in positive and negative ways).

Perception also ties to a very accurate saying: “Actions speak louder than words.” If you tell someone you are going to do something and then do the exact opposite, it’s your actions that actually count at the end of the day. People perceive your ACTIONS and judge you accordingly. Sometimes the way we are judged is unjust, but often it’s tied to our actions. Sometimes our perceptions are clouded by insecurity, resulting in a chain of events that would have never had to transpire if we had just practiced patience and understanding.

When someone perceives my actions from an insecure point of view, and is always waiting for the other shoe to drop, all I can do is remember that I have no control over the actions of others. I can only control my own decisions and the way I choose to perceive situations.

Ultimately I have to trust my instincts, which is a process that isn’t always so smooth. But trusting myself and my ability to make good choices is part of living. So I embrace it, bumps in the road and all.

Love

“Sometimes love isn’t enough.” No truer words were spoken, right? I can’t recall who said this to me first, but I remember that the first time I heard it I was taken aback, aghast. “WHAT???? Love isn’t enough??? How can that be possible???” It was hard for me to grasp, but now I see — it makes perfect sense.

Sometimes we think we’re ready for things and we’re not. Sometimes work schedules conflict. And sometimes you’re just fundamentally — and in key areas — not compatible with someone. This applies to all relationships, not just romantic.

But striving for love, experiencing love in different ways, is what makes life worth living. Loving someone or an experience goes hand in hand with accumulating knowledge. Love is a conduit for personal growth of all sorts.

So I never regret my experiences with love, as perilous as they can be I can never regret being allowed to experience someone’s most vulnerable states, to be trusted and confided in on different levels, and experiencing that in return. Even when things don’t work out, the good memories stay with you through your life. Those gifts are priceless.

Karma

Some people don’t believe in karma but I obviously do, or I wouldn’t have included the word in the title of this post! The concept of karma is explained through different religions, but the one I’m most familiar with is derived from Buddhist teachings.

In Buddhism, karma is just another way of talking about cause and effect. We plant seeds with our thoughts and deeds. Most importantly, motivation is what makes the difference between a “good” and “bad” action. Sometimes people do things that they want others to interpret as selfless or loving, when in fact the true motivation for their actions is the exact opposite. So sometimes we can reap bad karma even from actions that technically (on the surface) appear to be good.

Whenever I experience betrayal, hurt, or any other unpleasant reality, I now take the time to see how my own karma brought this to me. Obviously dwelling on it and obsessing is unhealthy. But if look back on the ways that I was thoughtless, selfish, and unkind, it’s really not a huge surprise when someone gives me this down the road. That is the karma I created for myself.

The one element of karma that does trouble me though is when little children — who have yet to even accumulate enough life experiences to generate any karma of their own — are abused and neglected. That is the part of karma I don’t get. Supposedly it’s because they created bad karma in their past life. In certain schools of Hinduism, they teach that “one must reap the fruits of one’s personal karma and one may need to undergo multiple births, incarnating variously as plant, animal, or human. Such fruits of karma may be analogized to a bank (i.e., God) not letting a person be released from karma’s effects until the bank account is settled.”

I don’t agree with this. It just seems too cruel. But if that’s the case, it makes the most sense for me to continue to do my best to treat others the way I want to be treated so that in this lifetime and the next I limit the amount of personal bad karma I create for myself.

My favorite example of karma is in one of the later scenes in “The Color Purple.” Near the end of the film, Celie finally has the courage leave her abusive “husband,” Mister.

Oprah summed it up better than I ever could:

“Remember physics class? Did you pay attention to Newton’s third law of motion? Let me tell you, that thing is real. It says for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. That is the abiding law that I live by, artic­u­lated to perfection by Miss Celie in The Color Purple when she finally gets the courage to leave her abusive husband, Mister. ‘Every­thing you done to me already done to you.’ It is the Golden Rule to the 10th power.” — Oprah Winfrey, May 25, 2011

What I took away from this scene was that Mister believed Celie, deep down. He had his own struggles and pains. As a result, he took it out on everyone around him. After years of abusing Celie, her decision to finally leave him and that abuse did something to him. He started trying to set things right. It could never make up for what he did, but it did change his karma for the better. And if you notice, Celie’s strength inspired Sophia who’s experience in jail had killed the life in her. Celie’s actions transformed Sophia, brought her back to life and set her free.

In the book “The Color Purple” by Alice Walker, Celie ends up developing a real friendship with Mister. She ultimately forgave him for the past and acknowledged his efforts to change. She saw him striving to reach his higher self, in his own way. She saw the “real” Mister and welcomed him back into her life.

It’s true, time can heal all wounds. Time can’t erase the past but it can provide enough distance to help you see what’s worth saving and what’s worth letting go.

All relationships are complicated — romantic, platonic, business — all of them. They change over time. Some last longer than others. But each is a chance to experience your higher self — the one we truly are.

I love how the show (as well as the original and it’s successors) continued to give examples of ideal realities, such as a time when men and women are treated equally, when racism (in the Federation, anyway) is a thing of the past, and gender and sexual variance is embraced. The show, on a small but powerful scale, inspired me to believe that things will one day change for us on earth and that I could be a part of that change.

Part of what made the Enterprise’s mission successful was rules. There were MANY rules on the ship — rules on how you greeted your commanding officer, rules about safety, and even rules about who could go on what decks (for a long time ensign Crusher couldn’t even go on the bridge). People followed the rules because it kept them safe.

But at certain points throughout the series, almost every character on that ship broke a rule. Usually it was tied to an urgent need to save something or someone, and their transgression was forgiven.

The show itself broke rules at times, in an almost cavalier way. In the episode “Ship in a Bottle,” a holodeck character with artificial sentience we wants to leave the holodeck and take his “beloved” with him. Lieutenant Reginald Barclay (one of the engineers on the ship who goes to repair the holodeck) says that this is impossible.

BARCLAY
Leave the Holodeck? No, of course not. You can only exist in here.

The rest of the episode is about the holodeck character Professor James Moriarty tricking the crew into thinking he did leave the holodeck, until Data discovers this and ends up tricking Moriarty into thinking he escapes, when in fact he just leaves a holodeck inside the real holodeck. They keep him locked up in a program on an infinite loop exploring the galaxies, without knowing the wiser. The rules of space/time/science won’t ever allow him to leave the holodeck, which is part of the bittersweet ending to this particular tale — true freedom comes from within your own mind.

What this episode taught me is that it doesn’t even really matter what your external reality actually is; if you believe something (good or bad), it IS real — for you. It also established a rule (nothing lives outside the holodeck) that gave an added dimension to what it means to form relationships/attachments inside the holodeck.

Flash forward to episode “Angel One.” In this episode, Wesley and his friend are taking skiing lessons on the holodeck. He has a snowball fight with the holodeck doors open, and when Picard walks by with Lieutenant Worf, a stray holodeck snowball flies through the open doors and hits Picard and Worf. A hologram, in this episode, is somehow able to exist beyond the confines of the holodeck.

I loved how creator Gene Roddenberry knew and appreciated his audience. It’s almost as if he’s challenging the viewer to question the value of rules, even within the context of show continuity.

You need to question every rule in your life and how each empowers, protects, AND binds you from your own growth. Sometimes we allow rules to keep us from taking the risks we need in order to grow.

This TNG-inspired ramble may not make sense to those who don’t know the show, so here’s some personal context.  I wouldn’t be where I am today professionally if I hadn’t broken some rules and taken risks in the process. Here’s an example:

In 2005 I gained a lot of experience as a production assistant for several TV series. One of them was a show on MTV called “Miss Seventeen,” which was a “Real World”-style reality show with a competitive twist. House members competed in challenges in order to escape being eliminated, all for the goal of winning an internship with Seventeen magazine. I was a show PA and had a mixed bag of duties. Some days I was driving cast and crew around in huge crew vans and cube trucks. Other days, I was restocking the kitchen or making runs for supplies. Sometimes I helped the art department style different areas of the house, which was the most fun.

On one particular evening, I was tasked to stay very late and keep an eye on the girls via the control room. I basically got paid to sit in a “Big Brother”-style room, complete with switchboard and a wall of monitors that were recording everything in that house. I was supposed to watch the girls sleeping and report on anything show-worthy that might happen overnight for the producers.

While I watched, I would sneak into a nearby edit bay and chat with the night editor. He was very kind to me and encouraged my interest in Avid, the editing software he was using. Technically I was breaking a rule by visiting him. They weren’t paying me to learn Avid, they were paying me to essentially baby-sit these girls and write a report for the producers. I was still able to successfully do that and get to know the night editor.

The second rule I broke on that show was getting promoted in a roundabout way. When a production manager hires a PA, she certainly isn’t expecting or encouraging her PAs to go for a promotion on a job that only goes 4-6 weeks. When you’re a PA on a show, you’re a PA until the end of the show. This rule makes sense, but I broke it. And I am very glad I did, because that act of rule-breaking changed my life.

During another evening of cast babysitting, the night editor told me he was going to need the show producers to hire him an assistant. The volume of work for him was out of control. He needed someone to work nights and digitize tape while doing spot logs and stringouts. I didn’t know what any of this meant at the time, but it sounded challenging and fun and I wanted to do it. The night editor asked me if I would be interested in being his assistant. I gaped, knowing full well he knew that I wasn’t qualified. Luckily, this editor was a badass, cool dude who was a rule-breaker himself. I said yes and as they say, the rest is history. He took a chance on me and told our production manager that he wanted ME, not anyone else, to be his assistant.

The next thing you know, I’m making twice what I was making before and learning a crucially important skill — assistant editing. The production manager who originally hired me was NOT happy about the change. She had called me her “best PA” and was aggravated that she had to replace me and was unhappy with the performance of that replacement. My rule-breaking was a pain in her ass.

Other crew members dropped a few hints that what I had done had broken some sort of unspoken rule, but I didn’t care. So what if getting promoted on a short-term gig is weird? The universe brought me this opportunity, so I took it and didn’t look back.

With the knowledge that I gained on “Miss Seventeen,” I stopped working as a PA and became an Assistant Editor. I joined a union and eventually ended up at a company in midtown in 2006, assisting on several shows. While I was there, I realized I was no longer interested in just helping an editor do his job. I wanted more knowledge, more experiences. I wanted to be a producer.

Some of my colleagues there were against this. I was advised to just stick with what I was doing and eventually transition into being an editor. I was already an anomaly; there was only one other female editor on staff and zero female assistant editors. The media manager was a woman, but it was obvious she her own professional frustrations. It was very much a boys club, despite the kindness of several of the AEs. Despite their kindness, my dream to produce was definitely not encouraged.

I decided that even though I had only been there for three weeks, it was time to move on. Professionally, this could have been damaging. It’s not a good idea to job hop and be known as someone who quits just three weeks into a gig. That’s a definite rule you don’t want to break, but I did. I accepted a Rich Media Editor assignment with MTV News and eventually transitioned from a temp freelancer to staff.

I applied for the job (assisting during the MTV Video Music Awards) even though the description stated they wanted someone with a college degree. I didn’t have one, but I knew I could do the job and had the required skills. Generally speaking, it’s not a good idea to apply for a job if you don’t meet all the requirements, but I didn’t let this stop me from trying.

If I had simply followed all the rules I was given when I moved to NYC in 2004, I think that I would be very unhappy and professionally frustrated today. I’m not advocating for a world where people disregard all rules or not see the value in them, but I do think that it’s always a good idea to consider how some rules are more like guidelines and often only exist to maintain the status quo.

edit: My NY BFF’s reaction to this post ^_^…

This is geekier than Worf-printed boxer briefs (a thing that, by the way, should exist). And now for some reason I really want to rent Galaxy Quest.

I’ve been thinking a lot about how this experiment could have helped me as I entered my 20s. I certainly had a lot of idealism and goals when I was 19. At 20 is when I really started to politicize myself and define what was important to me. Some of those priorities have changed but many continue to be my focus for activism, such as gender equality, reproductive rights, immigration rights, and youth empowerment.

Origins
At 20 is when I really started to organize events in my hometown of Sacramento, CA. I co-founded an artists collective and put on film and music shows with my friends. See if you can spot author Inga Muscio in the video below. It was amazing that she came out and supported our event.

I spent weekends (usually alone — it’s hard to get your young friends up early on a Saturday) supporting women by standing in front of the abortion protesters/hate mongers at a nearby clinic, holding my own sign of support and being like a physical block between the women coming to the clinic and the ignorant people screaming at them (read about one of my last experiences in front of that location here). I did that up until I relocated to NYC in 2004 to pursue my film & media goals.

Context
Looking back at my activism between 18 – 23 makes me really proud. I want to do more of that kind of action in my 30s, but in a much more strategic and collaborative manner. It’s not that I stopped being an activist or radical when I moved to NYC, I just went about it in a different way. I became a mentor with Big Brothers Big Sisters and donated my time to media literacy organizations, speaking to young girls about cyberwellness and other important topics. However, I wish I had spent more time documenting what I was doing leading up to and through my early 20s, because I’m certain those videos would have been a source of strength for me during my uncertain and fearful times after moving to NYC. I could have reminded myself of what I was truly capable of.

The culture shock of moving across the country practically made me forget almost everything about myself that I was proud of. It took years to get that sense of self back.

The Future
My hopes and dreams for my 30s are to make more art, to be more of an ACTIVE activist (street/community-level steps), to be the best foster-to-adopt parent I can be next spring, and to enjoy more out of life. While I think about these goals, I’m also trying to remember the events, people, and media that inspired me to think more about my world and how to enact positive change.

Here are some of those inspirational sources that came into my life when I was 19-23, as they come to mind:

1. My first feminist POC friend: Claudia
Regardless of how our friendship has transformed over time, I will always be profoundly grateful for her influence in my life. I met Claudia right before I turned 19. She introduced me to zines by people of color. Claudia introduced me to Bikini Kill, Kathleen Hannah’s project Julie Ruin, to local activists and allies, and was my first friend to ever call me an artist. We co-founded a female artists collective together and over the years she has always encouraged me to think about the consequences of my actions while working as a media professional. Claudia will always be in my heart.

2. My first friend to discuss white privilege with me: Jessicah Pratt
As a person of color (I’m Chicana), I never really thought about my own white privilege until I met Jessicah Pratt. In a loving and informative way, she helped me to understand my role in the world as a person of color with white privilege. Rather than see it as something to feel guilty about (which I did initially), she encouraged me to use it as weapon for positive change. She influenced me in other ways as well, but this was the gift she brought into my life that I am most grateful for. THANK YOU! <3

3. LiveJournal & Diaryland
Before Facebook and Google+, there were very social communities that helped me to transform my life. Publicly journaling on LiveJournal and Diaryland from 19-23 transformed my life in ways I never imagined when I first opened accounts on these sites. I met my NY BFF through LiveJournal, who has been my IRL BFF now for 9 years. LiveJournal was where I first started researching the possibility of moving to NYC.

I found groups that gave info about NY job resources, art events, and even housing. I also read the stories of those who had also relocated from far off places, and it gave me courage to do it myself. A few years ago I deleted both of my accounts on those sites and regret doing so, because there were some hilarious posts on there. But I think I just wanted a clean slate… I am, however, 100% certain that I would not be where I am today without communities like LiveJournal.

4. Effie Kolbeins
I met Effie while working at CAEYC, a non-profit in Sacramento, CA. She was a very dynamic and powerful person. Despite our age difference (I started there at 19), she treated me like an equal and cared enough to ask me about my long-term goals. She is the person who sent me information about the Women in Film networking event that used to happened annually in Beverly Hills, CA. Because of her, I flew to Los Angeles by myself to attend this event at 19 and had a very cathartic moment in my hotel room. I promised myself I would do everything I could to achieve my dreams.

Back in Sacramento, Effie encouraged me almost like a daughter to pursue my film goals and allowed me to hang out with her young son, who was a film buff and made his own movies on his computer (very unique to me, at the time). People like Effie are the reason I try to help others as much as I can, because I know how much her help affected my life.

5. Craigslist
Hah! Oh man. This rabbit hole has brought me a lot of joy and problems over the years. I found my first New York apartment here, as well as my first film internship. I met friends AND lovers on Craigslist, and bought and sold film making equipment. If it wasn’t for Craigslist, I don’t think I would have had the courage to actually get on the plane to New York. I think that being able to see activity (even in just digital/visual form) happening in New York on a daily basis made me more comfortable with the idea of relocating. Thanks, Craig!

There have been many more people, events, and resources that influenced me during 19-23, but those are the 5 that I’m going to think about today. Between now and 9/1, when I start my daily 30th bday countdown, I want to highlight those influences on The Lair as a digital toast to those who inspired me.

It also goes without saying that none of this would have been possible without love and support from my mother Carolina Rose, my stepdad Larry Rose, and my father Henry V. Capistrano. These three people have had the most influence (direct and indirect) in my life and I’m happy that I am now mature enough to appreciate it

Modcloth.com/M&C ad placement #fail

I came across this oopsie while looking for a new dress. M&C’s ad server tech (I don’t know what it is) pulled in Modcloth’s ads on a story about an exploited young girl. The juxtaposition of a smiling white girl rolling in the grass, smack dab in the middle of a story about a Mexican teen roped into murderous gang activity, didn’t sit well with me. I’m not a passive consumer so I took screenshots, contacted Modcloth, and let them know. To their credit, they responded very quickly and now the ad has been changed:

For obvious reasons, I am going to continue shopping on Modcloth.com and appreciate how sensitive/timely they were to my concerns. I don’t like even the suggestion of a Mexican girl’s exploitation being trivialized, even by accident. Modcloth did the right thing by addressing this ad faux pas right away.

Takeaways
1. Always monitor your social channels. You never know how your audience might help you out.

2. Make sure communication between your social team and ad sales team is buttoned up. In Modcloth’s case, they addressed the situation within hours. Bravo!

3. Be timely about addressing sensitive issues before they spiral out of control.

Here’s another example of being timely about addressing sensitive issues. I am now supporting the digital team for Current TV’s new daily news and commentary show, “Countdown with Keith Olbermann.” Part of that support yesterday included social engagement. While monitoring feeds, I noticed that commenters on our Facebook page were using offensive language (f*g, f*ggot, etc.) in a thread below our story about a gay couple speaking out about their immigration battle.

I made a judgement call to step in and request that this behavior cease. I also deleted the offensive posts. After doing that, the community policed themselves and those words weren’t used again. I trusted the community to clean up their act, and they did. Empower your community to support & respect each other while exercising their right to free speech.

Here’s what I posted, and as you can see the comments (if you go to the FB page), were still passionate but “f*ggot”-free:

Since I had to be timely about addressing the issue, I was careful to alert relevant stakeholders and send my screenshot. Everyone was on the same page and it sparked a dialog that will continue about community moderation factors.

Pinterest and faster knowledge sharing/accumulation

Because of services like Pinterest, I am able to track and collect resources in a much faster, more engaging way. The interface just inspires exploration, I love it. I recently started a board called Resources for startups. Check it out and add your pins too!

Google+: fun, drama, rabbit hole

Google+, like any other social networking hub, is ultimately what you make it. Some people use it to find a job. Others use it to share and collect information about their favorite topics. I use it to monitor what my friends and colleagues are up to. I am not really making any “new” friends on Google+, most of them are people I already engage with on Twitter and Facebook. We are all sharing this new space and using it in different ways. That experimental factor alone is what keeps me going back, and ultimately I will refine how I use it so it’s just another tool in my arsenal.

Right now though, I have to admit, it’s more of a time-suck than anything else. But that’s how Facebook started for me. Now, I use Facebook to monitor trends, share resources, and as a weapon for activism.

It’s OK to start using a tool one way and then evolve to use it in other ways. Some people still use email primarily to send around giant Powerpoint files of cats hugging, and that works for them. So it’s really about what your priorities are.

Sharing is caring

A recent quote that I received via email sums it all up for me:

No one is rewarded more richly in time, space, or beyond, Daniela, than the person who has helped others. And it matters not whether they helped selflessly or selfishly, for a profit or for free, with an Apple or a Droid. Help is help. – The Universe

You may think you don’t have time in your life to help people more than you already are. But if you look closer, you’ll see that every time you do help someone, you learn a little something.

“Things are not always as they seem; the first appearance deceives many.” – Phaedrus, a Roman poet

When I first moved to New York from California in 2004, some unwanted baggage managed to come along with me; my many fears, self-loathing, and a sense of disconnect from the world. Luckily, my personality compels me to attack my fears head-on even if I am feeling hopeless, so I was able to put myself out there and network, find work, and eventually feel comfortable with calling NYC my home.

But I’ve since realized that, in the process of overcoming so much culture shock and repressed fear, an unhealthy part of me continued to approach everything like a situated that needed to be attacked.

That attitude narrowed my world view. To everyone around me, I did my best to present this “Self” who had everything together and was relentlessly ambitious. But inside, I was always secretly on guard, waiting for something terrible to happen. I didn’t really trust myself and – by extension – anyone else. I always saw the worst in people and in myself. It was exhausting and I’m surprised I’ve achieved as much as I did with that lens tainting everything & everyone around me, including my own family and significant others.

Now, as I mentally kick-off the countdown to my 30th birthday in September, I’m happy to realize that I am finally able to look at a person or a situation and see beyond the surface. The things that once triggered fear or anger rarely do so anymore. And when they do, I can step back and not give those negative feelings the fuel they require to eat me alive. I put my attention elsewhere, and the feelings subside.

My fears don’t rule me anymore, I see them for what they are: just ghosts from the past. I can tell myself, “This is nothing worth stressing out all day over. I will not let these old thoughts and feelings drag me down.” Everyday it gets easier to do this.

After I moved to New York, I did try many things to improve my way of thinking. I stopped believing in God, a being who I already thought I had a contentious relationship with thanks to confusing messages during childhood. I read works by Sartre and other thought leaders. I tried Landmark Education. I tried meditation and yoga. I started believing in the God in all of us and starting talking to that collective spirit. From all of these experiences, I was able to acquire some helpful insights, but ultimately all the insights in the world were not going to help me until I was ready to change.

I can’t pinpoint the moment I decided to “change,” or how I did it, but it happened. It was a culmination of baby steps. I think the important part was that I truly WANTED to transform my life and my attitude, but I just didn’t know how to achieve that. My desire I think and my constant thoughts of transformation acted as kind of a lighthouse while I drifted along, picking my way through my issues.

So here I am. A work in progress. The best side-affect of changing how I think about things is that I am now able to find extraordinary beauty and lessons everywhere I turn. It’s really up to me to choose another way, another perspective.

Knowing that I have this incredible power over myself and my actions is a small but life-transforming baby step into a world where I could finally relax. I can breathe. And I can give myself permission to love who I’ve become and the progress I’ve made.

These days, I am able to find peace and happiness with an ease that wasn’t possible in my early 20s. The more I am grateful for what I have and pass on support to others, the more blessings come into my life.

I’m not a self-help guru, this is just a note I’m putting in a bottle and throwing out into the Internet sea. I hope if you find it and are feeling hopeless that this helps you in some way.

Yes, life is a struggle. Life is not easy. And often there are things that happen to us that our out of our control, particularly when we are children. These decisions made by others can cast shadows over our own sense of empowerment and choice. We can get so accustomed to our victimhood, thrust upon us at vulnerable stages in our lives, that we start to think that what people did to us makes us who we are. But it doesn’t. I define my life. Not my job, or my family, or the media I consume. I do.

If I’m bent on being miserable, I will be miserable. If I want to smile, I can find a person or experience that will draw one out of me. If I want to isolate myself from friends and feel alone, there are things I can do to ensure that happens. If I want to forgive myself and others, I can. It’s all a choice. But the quality of my life increases by leaps and bounds when I choose to approach life from a place of love and trust. I know what it feels like to approach it from fear and anger, and that wasn’t working for me.

This new way works for me so much better.

Don’t let your fear of the unknown keep you from experiencing the abundance you deserve. You have permission to start over every time you blink. You could start over right now if you wanted to. What would be the first thing you would change?

If I may be so bold to advise you, my suggestion is that you give yourself permission to surprise yourself. What you are truly capable of could astonish you.

AP reports that Johnson put her son in the tub for his bath a little after 8:30 a.m. on Sept. 20. She then left him unsupervised as she went to another room to share videos, check status updates and play Café World on Facebook.

So while her child drowned, Johnson was enjoying the psychological rewards of being in charge of her own virtual restaurant, making her way to the top of Zynga‘s fake culinary world.

Zynga, the creator of FarmVille and a lot of other social games, has a talent for ripping off products from other companies and creating their own addictive Facebook games that are particularly popular with mothers.

Let me just preface the rest of this post by saying that I’m not into slippery slope talk. Obviously, not every parent who enjoys social gaming on Facebook is going to make the same negligent mistake that Johnson did. However, I’m bringing this up anyway to raise a concern that I have about how social gaming impacts family life and the gamer’s view of his/her own abilities.

There are many studies being released these days about the cognitive benefits of gaming. Quest 2 Learn, a digital school in NYC, uses gaming as part of their curriculum. So clearly, gaming isn’t the enemy. Games didn’t kill little Joseph. Negligence did. Before gaming hit the mainstream, parents went to jail for accidents that happened while they watched TV. Today, it’s happening all over the world because of gaming addictions. Same problem — different platform.

As I mentioned in my previous post in this series, I am planning on having a child. Even before I made this decision, I’ve always thought about how technology affects my life now and how my habits will impact my future family.

Clearly, having children doesn’t diminish Facebook’s appeal. Plenty of parents spend chunks of their day checking their friends status updates, posting videos, and playing games. Some parents have a healthy balance between their online/offline worlds, while others struggle to figure out what works for them.

I don’t think that there is a turnkey solution to this problem of negligent acts brought on by Facebook gaming. I think that it takes a combination of self-motivated personal assessment, research, input from friends, and a genuine desire to have a healthier family life.

If you find that you mostly prefer to play FarmVille over spending time with your children, what does that say about the dynamic at home? What needs to change?

For the next week while I’m on my Facebook Detox, I am going to think about the kind of parent that I want to be. My job requires me to stay attuned to the latest in media/tech, and as a result I do spend a LOT of time on Facebook. For now, the only person who is affected by that is me (and my friends/dates/family who get annoyed). But next year, my life is going to dramatically change. And I don’t want to ever come close to what happened to the poor little boy in Colorado.

Danah Boyd, a researcher at Microsoft Research New England and a Fellow at the Harvard Berkman Center for Internet and Society, blogged last year about risk reduction strategies on Facebook used by teens. I think that parents could benefit from trying some of these tactics as well as part of their Facebook Detox.

I highly recommend you buy/borrow/steal a book called The Shallows: What the Internet Is Doing to Our Brains. In it, author and tech expert Nicholas Carr shares the following important info:

(description via Booklist) “He looks to neurological science to gauge the organic impact of computers, citing fascinating experiments that contrast the neural pathways built by reading books versus those forged by surfing the hypnotic Internet, where portals lead us on from one text, image, or video to another while we’re being bombarded by messages, alerts, and feeds.

This glimmering realm of interruption and distraction impedes the sort of comprehension and retention ‘deep reading’ engenders, Carr explains. And not only are we reconfiguring our brains, we are also forging a ‘new intellectual ethic,’ an arresting observation Carr expands on while discussing Google’s gargantuan book digitization project. What are the consequences of new habits of mind that abandon sustained immersion and concentration for darting about, snagging bits of information? What is gained and what is lost? Carr’s fresh, lucid, and engaging assessment of our infatuation with the Web is provocative and revelatory.”

It’s not just science mumbo-jumbo. The Internet, gaming, Facebook — ALL of it is changing the way we think and behave. And for this and future generations, it all starts at home. How are YOU going to make sure that your children are empowered to handle the next tsunami of tech innovation and it’s impact on their lives? I’m going to think about that this week and will share anything I come up with…

This is the second in a series of posts on how Facebook is changing the way that new parents share information about their experience and how Facebook is changing the way people parent.

Disclosure: I am not a licensed therapist or “Parenting Expert.” I am a transmedia professional and I observe human nature. Most importantly (to me), I plan on having a child next year and am sharing my thoughts as part of my journey.