AM shows me Park Slope’s gang sign: Baby Mafia

took my bewbies to Washington Square park and met up with Crystal

watching Ash play videogames

showing off my Joker chucks

But the best part of this week was speaking at GEMS, where I was able to share my story with young women looking for mentors, as well as with many other women in media who are now a part of my network.

Girls Educational & Mentoring Services (GEMS) is the only organization in New York State specifically designed to serve girls and young women who have experienced commercial sexual exploitation and domestic trafficking. GEMS was founded in 1998 by Rachel Lloyd, a young woman who had been commercially sexually exploited as a teenager.

GEMS has helped hundreds of young women and girls, ages 12–24, who have experienced commercial sexual exploitation and domestic trafficking to exit the commercial sex industry and develop to their full potential. GEMS provides young women with empathetic, consistent support and viable opportunities for positive change.

Many thanks once again to Alexandra Roxo, who invited me to participate and made a great film called “Mary Marie” that I saw at NEWFEST this year.

One blog post by Daniela Capistrano isn’t going to educate men the world over about rape, but I’m hoping this may inspire loving boyfriends to share their knowledge with their bros and encourage their girlfriends to support the women in their lives through sharing knowledge a well.

Loving women means protecting them from being violated (but not using that as an excuse to see them as weak) and empowering them to protect themselves. Here are some ways to make a difference today/this week/RIGHT NOW. <3 Be a catalyst for knowledge.

Latest News
Hey male homies of The Lair! Here are some recent topics you can discuss at work and with your friends. Just sharing knowledge is a powerful way to support change and to show your girlfriend that you care about gender equality & preventing sexual exploitation.

1. David Shuster calls on New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie to immediately sign legislation that ensures rape victims don’t get billed for their own rape kits.

The bill has been sitting on Christie’s desk for nearly ten weeks.

The bill is called S972 and was co-sponsored by Sen. Diane Allen, R-7th of Edgewater Park with Sen. James Beach, D-6th of Voorhees. If it passes, health care providers will be barred by the state from directly billing sexual assault victims for forensic evidence collection. It should eliminate one difficult aspect of what has to be an extremely painful process for rape victims. – via phillyBurbs.com

2. Governor Rick Perry & HPV vaccines for girls

In 2007, Governor Rick Perry of Texas signed an executive order requiring that all girls receive the HPV vaccine in sixth grade, unless parents decided to opt-out. It was seen as a controversial decision at the time because HPV is a sexually transmitted disease and the vaccine acknowledged that adolescent girls are sexually active. However, some strains of HPV can cause cervical cancer, so many saw Perry’s decree as a net positive. Over the past several years, Perry has publicly stated he is proud of the decision and “I did what was right from my perspective.”

This weekend, however, Perry changed his tune about the HPV vaccine for girls. Could it be because he announced his candidacy for the GOP presidential nomination this weekend as well? Nahhh, that couldn’t be it. – via TheFrisky

Often when an act of rape occurs, the rapist doesn’t use protection. HPV vaccines for adolescent girls would at least help prevent that particular STD from being an issue in their life later on, regardless of how they might come into contact with HPV. Perry needs to be hold accountable for backing down.

3. “The Help” is a movie that has inspired many domestic workers to disclose sexual harassment/abuse in the workplace.

In May, hotel maid and West African immigrant Nafissatou Diallo brought charges against former International Monetary Fund director Dominique Strauss-Kahn, claiming he sexually assaulted her as she was cleaning his luxury suite at a hotel in New York. – via Houston Chronicle

Interesting Facts
We can stop rape by educating ourselves and the next generation about gender equality. If all men saw all women as family, friends, and equals — and respected themselves enough to show respect to others — then rape would be something we could look back on as an archaic sign of a dismal past. This won’t happen overnight, but there are steps you can take now to show the women in your lives that you care.

If you’re wondering why some women are bitchy, don’t trust men, or have a lot of anger issues, consider that sexual abuse and/or rape may be a part of their past and that abuse doesn’t just affect the victim — it affects everyone they come into contact with, in one way or another.

Here are some more facts to consider, provided by RAINN:

1. Every 2 minutes, someone in the U.S is sexually assaulted

3. Approximately 2/3 of assaults are committed by someone known to the victim

Personal Story
I am going to briefly share something about me that I’ve never discussed in a public forum. I have kept silent because I didn’t want it to define who I am, but lately things in the news have been really getting to me and I feel like possibly sharing my story might help the people in my life to see how important it is to educate their daughters, themselves, and their friends about how to prevent rape and support legislation that combats sexual exploitation and assault.

I have put it after the jump just in case this might be triggering for you.

According to RAINN, 1 out of every 6 American women has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape in her lifetime. So if I was standing in a room with 6 chicks, that 1 person would be me. Sometimes I am standing in a room with 6 chicks and this crosses my mind.

When I was 15, someone I considered a friend raped me at a party. I had been to that person’s house before. I had spent time with that friend there before. I never thought this person would ever violate me in that way. That experience made me feel less than human. It crushed my spirit. Because I knew him, and considered him a friend, I never reported him. I simply finished high school early to get away from him and the memory of what happened. I felt like my heart and mind had been punched repeatedly with brass knuckles.

Not only did he rape me, he didn’t use a condom and gave me Chlamydia. Luckily, it’s a treatable STD, so I don’t have it anymore. I am very lucky it wasn’t AIDS or HIV. However, for a period of a few months after the incident, I wasn’t aware that I had Chlamydia (often there are no symptoms in women). I had sex with a guy who I really liked and unintentionally passed on Chlamydia to him. The shame, ridicule, and rejection I experienced after that almost destroyed me. I felt worse about passing on an STD than I did about being raped. I felt so worthless. That feeling of not being worth anything at all stayed with me for a very long time.

Unfortunately, that incident at 15 wasn’t my first experience with sexual assault. When I was 2, my sitter’s teen son sexually abused me. As an adolescent, the husband of one of my other sitters was sexually inappropriate with me. And shortly after being raped at 15, a man tried to kidnap me in his car with the intention of raping me. Luckily, he was not successful.

Even now, as I write this almost 15 years later, I am fighting tears. I’m not crying because I feel weak or like a victim, I am over that. I am fighting tears because I regret waiting so long to say something in a productive way. I think my story could have helped some people I came into contact with. But I shut my story away because it makes me feel ashamed.

So, this month I am doing something about that. At the end of August, I will be collaborating with a friend of mine to speak to a group of girls at an organization that provides services to women who have been sexually abused or experienced sexual exploitation of any sort. I’m going to share my story for the first time in a public forum so that these girls can see that rape/sexual abuse doesn’t have to take your life away.

So gents, homies, and bros: If you didn’t know a woman before who was raped, now you do. I hate to even type this, but when I meet a woman my automatic assumption is that at some point in her past, she was sexually abused too. And sadly, most of the time I discover that I was right. It’s as if sexual abuse is par for the course for women in the U.S., and all over the world. A right of passage into womanhood. IT SHOULD NOT BE LIKE THIS.

If you don’t want your daughters to go through what I went through, talk to them about how to protect themselves and educate yourself on the issues. If you know a dude who raped a woman, report his ass. Speak out when people make inappropriate jokes about rape in the workplace and/or around women. Don’t do it for me or other women, do it for yourself. Do it because sexual abuse is a disease that can only be eradicated with knowledge, empathy, and conscious effort.

My name is Daniela Capistrano and I experienced rape and sexual abuse. But I didn’t let that destroy me and now I have a chance to make a difference.

Steps Towards Change
If you’re in NYC, here are some great organizations to explore and possibly volunteer at:

GEMS-GIRLS.org
Girls Educational & Mentoring Services (GEMS) is the only organization in New York State specifically designed to serve girls and young women who have experienced commercial sexual exploitation and domestic trafficking. GEMS was founded in 1998 by Rachel Lloyd, a young woman who had been sexually exploited as a teenager.

Big Brothers Big Sisters of NYC
Give just a few hours a month of your time to a young man and help guide him on a path towards respecting and appreciating women. It’s much easier than it sounds — just show up and be there.

Safe Horizon
Safe Horizon is the largest victims’ services agency in the United States, with 57 locations serving more than 250,000 children, adults, and families affected by crime and abuse throughout New York City each year.

I don’t want your pity. I just want you to care enough to support and empower the women in your lives. Thanks for reading.

edit: I can’t end this post without sharing this song and the lyrics in English (if you speak Spanish, you know the song already ). Both of these songs got me through some very tough times and I hope that any lady, woman, or girl ANYONE who has experienced sexual abuse and stumbles across this finds some comfort and hope.

I’ve been working with The LAMP (Learning About Multimedia Project) for the past few months in preparation for their first summer camp, which kicked off this week.

My BFF Julia Barnes forwarded me info about The LAMP back in early spring. I was excited about their mission to spread media literacy to kids and their parents, so I reached out to DC and Katherine about helping out. Lucky for me, their latest initiative was a summer camp program and so I dove into contributing ideas for projects and discussions.

When I arrived early Monday morning at PS10 in Park Slope, I wasn’t sure what to expect but we ended up with a large (and awesome) group of young people. We’ve been having fun learning about media literacy and gender issues.

Yesterday I spoke to the group about my work at MTV News and shared info about how students can prepare themselves for a career in media, for all screens. This was my first time speaking to a group of young people about my job and it felt good to share information that I wish someone would have shared with me when I was a teen.

I handed out my moo.com-designed business cards to all the campers who wanted one. I think it’s important for kids to have access to mentors and to adults who are willing to listen to them and encourage their creativity. My simple solution was to just give them info about my website, how to contact me and to let them know they can ask me anything they want.

Tomorrow is the last day of the camp and we’ll be editing the videos that our groups have been working on. I haven’t been up so early in the morning in years and it’s been a challenge to find the energy to keep up with the kids and maintain a full time job, but everything is working out so far.

My little sister through Big Brothers Big Sisters is going away to college in the fall. We have been meeting to have lunch, go to the movies and to just talk about life since 2006. I’ve learned so much from participating in the BBBS mentor program and my relationship with my little means a lot to me.

Now that I’ll have a little bit of extra free time, I think I am going to contribute to more projects with The LAMP in the future, beyond the summer camp.

The reasons why I volunteer and use my precious free time to help out with pro-social projects are actually very selfish ones:

It makes me feel good and helps me to put life into perspective. There are also many unforeseeable benefits to volunteering that it almost feels like I am the one who makes out like a bandit.

It seems like I get back so much more than I am giving, which inspires me to give more.

I don’t see myself one of those people who is always taking up a cause, but I guess if I had a “cause” it would be youth activism through media literacy – supporting young people in achieving their goals.

I still have free time left to do things with friends so it’s not that serious. When something is important to you, there is always a way to find time to do it.

That’s it!

http://www.aidswalk.net/newyork/index.html

Join 45,000 other caring People at AIDS Walk New York on Sunday, May 17!

10 AM: AIDS Walk New York begins!
Enter at 59th Street and Fifth Avenue

12:30 PM: Post Walk Concert
Celebrate a job well done and relax to the sounds of live music at the AIDS Walk stage in Central Park.

Join 45,000 other participants in the 6.2 mile walk and enjoy the scenic beauty of Central Park. There will be an assortment of refreshments and snacks available at each of the four checkpoints.

Entertainment will also be present along the route.

In the early years of the HIV epidemic most believed that women could not get HIV. HIV was a gay disease. However, the proportion of adolescent and adult women living with AIDS has tripled in the last decade. The CDC reports that in 1986 women represented 7% of all reported AIDS cases and by 1999 this number jumped to 25%.

Today women represent 30% of new HIV infections with the majority of these new infections impacting women of color. At the end of 2000, 80% of reported HIV/AIDS cases among women were African-American and Latina. Today, HIV/AIDS is the fifth leading cause of death for women ages 25-44 and the third leading cause of death. – GMHC